the maintenance year

travelers on our own journey!

So, this is the time of year when publishing world is all abuzz with their national conferences and award ceremonies--none of which I will be attending. As I read my friends' and colleagues' facebook feeds and twitter streams, I do feel slight twinges of envy. However, the emotion I feel in spades is anxiety. I wonder if somehow my work, my books, are being forgotten, left behind--that all I have tried to build is fading away.

But truly, my biggest fear is not that I've been unable to promote or network. My biggest fear is that I will never be able to do my best work again. For creating a book--at least for me-- is a very selfish  endeavor. It needs great chunks of alone time--thinking time, goofing time, as well as writing time.  It also needs very focused brain power.  All of which has been in short supply since Rain Dragon's arrival. Which is why my plans for novel #3 have remained just that--plans. No drafts, no outlines, no sketches.  My ambitions have been forced to take a backseat as the most I could manage this past year was keeping afloat!

I read somewhere that working moms should shift their attitude towards their careers for the year (s?) after their baby's birth. Instead of trying to achieve ambitious promotions, they should, instead, look at this time as "maintenance."

Even though I know I would've cringed at those words last year, I now embrace them.  It's much more comforting to chalk up this past year to maintenance instead of facing the possibility that I've peaked. 

 And if it was a maintenance year, then that also gives me the power  to decide that it's is over. We're now moved into the new house, I've hired a babysitter to help out and the studio is almost in a working state. Hope springs eternal, and hopefully this spring (er, summer) I can start everything anew. Cross your fingers for me!